Do you recall how in my last review I hoped that some of these post Disney Renaissance films would surprise us with unexpected greatness? The Emperor's New Groove is not that film. It holds no great surprises or greatness at all. Harsh. But true. It is the first film on this journey that I've desperately wanted to turn off after only 5 minutes. And it didn't get better. The film premiered in 2000 and was not a flop. Shock of shocks. I guess people found it funny. It is branded as a "buddy-comedy." I didn't laugh once. And the only grin I wore was a grimace. I think this film was even more painful than Saludos Amigos. And that is saying something. Well let's get down to business...
The Emperor's New Groove is the story of Kuzco (a young, narcissistic, selfish, unlikable emperor) and his transformation to a llama. (I wish I was making this up!) It turns out that Kuzco should not have fired Yzma (his advisor, and one of the creepiest-looking Disney villains ever. I mean I guess the evil queen as the hag in Snow White may have her beat, but Yzma just looks terrible. All. The. Time.) Yzma also has some creepy magical powers, hence how Kuzco becomes a llama. (Though it should be noted that Yzma actually intends to kill Kuzco.) The llama bit is a mistake by perhaps the funniest character in the film: Kronk (Yzma's brawn over brain henchman).
Kuzco finds himself lost in the jungle (as a talking llama) with not a soul or friend to turn to for help. Enter Pancho. Pancho had seen Kuzco earlier that day when Kuzco had announced plans to destroy Pancho's entire village to make a water park for himself. (I'm still not making this stuff up. This is legitimate Disney plot right here. Oy vey.) Pancho's heart, however, is bigger than Kronk's biceps and so he helps poor Kuzco out and they begin their oft treacherous, never really heart-warming travels back to Kuzco's palace.
Have I mentioned that I really didn't like this movie? I think my number one problem was that I didn't like any of the characters. For me to enjoy any film, I have got to like the characters - and this film offered me no one to enjoy, root for, or care about. I guess Pancho is noble in his own way, but the film isn't really about him... It's filled with this annoying llama! (Sorry. I shall try to stop ranting.) This film was distinctly lacking the warmth, heart, and great story that defines Disney movie greatness.
And I think I'm just going to call it a day on this film review... If you find this film funny, good for you. If you don't, I absolutely commiserate. (And it's ok to turn it off. You won't miss a thing.)
This week let's end with some words of wisdom from the man himself, Mr. Walt Disney:
I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.
Coming Up Next: Atlantis: The Lost Empire
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